Browsing Tag

out of character

Kink Resources

BDSM 101: SSC, RACK, PRICK, and the 4Cs

What do SSC and RACK mean??

– Anonymous

VRF Answers:

SSC and RACK – as well as some other popular acronyms – describe basic foundational principles for BDSM and kink play.  Let’s take a broad look at some of the more common and established frameworks.

SSC: Safe, Sane, and Consensual

SSC, which stands for safe, sane, and consensual, is largely attributed to David Stein, who coined the phrase in the 1980s for the Gay Male S/M Activists (GMSMA) of New York (Stein, n.d.; “Safe, sane, and consensual”, 2021).

Safe must mean “without serious threats to participants’ health” (“to hurt, not to harm,” as it is sometimes conveyed); sane must indicate “within the limits of reason”; and consensual, of course, must mean “with the consent of all implicated parties.” Practices and activities within these limits are morally permissible; if an activity falls short on any of these three scores, it is morally wrong. (Nielsen, 2010)

SSC was – and still is – a popular term for describing the safeguards required to participate in ethical kink.  However, many criticize its semantic ambiguities and subjectivity; for example, what is safe or sane to one person may not be for another (Nielson, 2010).  Regardless, it still serves as a good starting point as an introduction to some foundational principles of ethical kink and raises awareness of the importance of consent.  Broadly speaking, adherents to SSC believe that people should not engage in activities that are not safe or cannot be made safe.

RACK: Risk-Aware Consensual Kink

RACK, or risk-aware consensual kink, was coined in 1999 by David Switch as an intentional move away from the value-laden semantics of SSC (Miller & Switch, n.d.; “Risk-aware consensual kink”, 2021).

Despite the popularity of SSC, some BDSM practitioners eventually began to realize that SSC may exclude edgier forms of play that involve higher physical and/or psychological risk, which may be part of the motivation for participation. Risk, of course, is relative and can vary tremendously across individuals. (Williams, Thomas, Prior, & Christensen, 2014)

In RACK, we see a shift from the “safe and sane” semantics of SSC to “risk-aware” while maintaining the through-line of consent.  Many see “risk-aware” as being less nebulous than “safe and sane”, although they have a large overlap (i.e., you must be aware of the risks in order to play safely).  In contrast to SSC – again, broadly speaking – adherents to RACK believe that people should engage in activities being fully informed and aware of the potential risks, regardless of whether or not the activity is safe, since some activities are inherently unsafe.

PRICK: Personal Responsibility Informed Consensual Kink

PRICK, personal responsibility informed consensual kink (originally, “personal responsibility in consensual kink”), is another evolution of this discourse which appears to have been coined in 2002 at BDSM Overdrive (”Consent (BDSM)”, n.d.).

PRICK builds on RACK, but increases the emphasis on the role each person plays in the consent process. PRICK makes it very clear that a passive role in understanding what is going on is not acceptable. (Hamer, 2016)

PRICK can be seen as an amplification of RACK, where the passivity of “risk-aware” is transformed into a charge of personal responsibility.  It puts a greater emphasis on the obligation of kink practitioners to do their due diligence in proactively accepting personal responsibility, regardless of role or position, and keeping informed of the risks and implications of their kinks.

The 4Cs: Caring, Communication, Consent, and Caution

The 4Cs framework, encompassing caring, communication, consent, and caution, was introduced by Williams, Thomas, Prior, & Christensen in the Electronic Journal of Human Sexuality in 2014.

While SSC and RACK focus on two shared, essential, concepts (consent and safety/risk awareness), the 4Cs approach retains these general concepts and adds the interrelated dimensions of caring and communication…  

The inclusion of caring in a BDSM negotiation motto reflects an ethical stance while acknowledging individuals as unique human beings. The form of caring (i.e., level of trust and intimacy of relationships among participants in a scene) also shapes the qualitative experiences of BDSM. Communication, while often rightly discussed by BDSM authors under consent, is also strongly connected to caring and caution. Although presented separately, these concepts in BDSM are all tightly interwoven. Emphasizing communication should lead to a better understanding among participants regarding individuals’ unique identities, needs, and motivations, and thus more fulfilling BDSM experiences. In short, communication as its own entity allows for participants to better understand the subjective realities of those with whom they play. (Williams, Thomas, Prior, & Christensen, 2014)

The 4Cs introduce a more human element to kink considerations and places empathy and interpersonal connection as coequal to the activity itself.  There are a few things that stand out about the 4Cs to me – it is a published, intentional, and discursive framework which gives it legitimacy and longevity, and it gives focus to active and actionable items and not passive states.  I highly recommend reading the original paper for a deeper look.

Conclusion

SSC, RACK, PRICK, the 4Cs, and other frameworks which encompass ideologies or values around ethical kink are great ways to start a conversation about your personal involvement, interest, and insights into kink philosophy and practice.  As fairly established and well-understood schools of thought within BDSM communities, they also provide a great foundation for establishing common ground and understanding.  Ethical kink is, after all, what separates consensual BDSM from violence (and, in the context of this blog, consensual non-consent from sexual assault), and creates a safe and healthy atmosphere for its participants.

The markers distinguishing BDSM sex from violence include 1) voluntariness 2) communication 3) a safeword (the ability to stop the activity) 4) safe sex and 5) access to information about BDSM. The “healthy” BDSM partnership is characterized by 1) the absence of fear from the partner, 2) no feelings of guilt or worthlessness, 3) respect to the partner 4) the sexual meaning of the “scene”: distinguishing the “sex scene” from real life, no psychical violence (no manipulation, no psychological pressure, no destructive criticism) 5) the absence of the failure and compensation cycle but stable behavior 6) no isolation from family, friends, colleagues; access to money; no aggression 7) only mild hierarchy disparity between the partners in everyday life. (Jozifkova, 2013)

If you are just starting to learn about these terms and concepts, I encourage you to conduct some additional research and introspection to see what parts of them speak to you, resonate with experiences you’ve had, and lead you to deepen your connection to kink.  These frameworks are not meant to be a comprehensive checklist; there is plenty of latitude within them for nuance, so it is more important to gain an understanding of the underlying principles and moral considerations to find your grounding.  If you’re not sure of where to begin, I have included both scholarly and casual references that I think are good starting points for exploration. ▪

References

See more answered asksSend an ask

Asks

Hello, I’ve followed your tumblr for a while, as well as others that appeal to my fantasies. And, I can’t tell you how important your post about your hiatus was to me. I have struggled with how to approach rape fantasy in our culture, while being a feminist and a woman. Your post made me cry, in a good way, and question what is wrong in my personal relationships that I can’t find the kind of understanding and support you described so simply in your post. Thank you for legitimizing those feelings

– Anonymous

VRF Answers:

Thank you – and I hope you are able to find that understanding and support out there.  Everyone deserves to feel understood and respected. ◾

[VRF: You can see the hiatus announcement referenced in this ask here.]

See more answered asksSend an ask

Asks

can i just say that i like your blog a lot, but now i like it even more now that i know that you arent one of these toxic dom blogs that actually seem to really hate women, rather you actually seem really nice and aware of this stuff and know that its alright in a consenting way and for fantasies but as an actual thing that happens to people who cant consent that its a horrible thing

– Anonymous

VRF Answers:

Right.  Rape fantasy is one thing, and rape and sexual assault are a whole other story.  And even though they’re diametrically opposed things, I don’t feel like we can really engage in consensual non-consent without awareness and acknowledgement of those things, just like BDSM commands the same of domestic violence and abuse.  Thanks for supporting the blog! ◾

See more answered asksSend an ask

Asks

I am a kinky do, into alot of kinky things. I don’t take time to run a blog more than repost porn I like. But much like the person who posted about their experiences and how you’ve helped I feel like you deserve to hear it again.

Personally, I’ve struggled with my mental health after an emotionally abusive relationship years ago. I know men don’t like to talk about it, but there it is. It left me pretty fucked in the head, and taking interest in things like cn-c, and other edge-of-safety considered things like knife-play only made me feel worse for the longest time, like I was thing permanently messed up freak. Since finding myself in a serious relationship with my now submissive and fiancé, I can say that your blog and the other few I’ve seen like yours played a big part in my coming to terms with enjoying “abnormal” things.

So, from the male perpective, thank you for what you do. I hope we get to see you back more regulary with content as well, but I get that you need your time. ^_^

– Anonymous

VRF Answers:

Thanks for sharing.  Even though this blog is about male-on-female scenarios, it’s important to be reminded that men also experience abuse and rape and that their struggles are no less valid. ◾

See more answered asksSend an ask

Asks

What does it feel like to pretend to be a rapist? I get it’s fantasy and the “victim” wants it but what is it like to step into his shoes of a rapist and physically hurt and rape a woman? Yes she wants it but you’re mimicking a psychopath’s actions and thoughts. Does that ever mess with your mind? Does it ever make you question yourself or make you feel guilty for enjoying the act of rape when you are friends with real life rape victims? I don’t understand rape fantasy I’m a victim of rape.

– Anonymous

VRF Answers:

Does it ever make me question myself or make me feel guilty?  I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about rape fantasy and rape play, its component factors, where it comes from, why I (and others, including partners) enjoy it, what I get out of it, and how it fits within psychological and sociological contexts.  A big part of that is constantly doubting myself, questioning my motives and conscience, and vacillating on guilt.  Even when I can rationally justify it to myself, I still sometimes feel guilty because, like you said, of the horrific reality of rape.

For my private life, I am relatively guilt-free.  I know that what I am doing is with fully informed and continuing consent, and it is an extension of BDSM, not a desire to commit sexual violation.  I talk about the differences in a previous answer.  I also talked about guilt and rape fantasies, and the ontological dichotomy between rape and rape fantasies despite the names suggesting semantic similarity.  In short, there is a divergence between the criminal act of rape and consensual non-consent: they come from different places, their motivations are diametrically opposed, and the latter is not about “becoming a rapist” but about a connection through vulnerability and submission.  At least, that’s how it is for me.

If rape fantasies are conducted with consent, which requires ample communication between all involved and careful consideration of everyone’s needs and desires, and carried out with due diligence and conscientiousness before, during, and after the fact, I believe they can be safe and healthy.  I hope that answers your question. ◾

See more answered asksSend an ask

Asks

Please, please, please keep this anonymous, I have endured enough hateful comments making me close 3 other blogs to last my lifetime.

In so glad to see you posting again! Before I lose my chance again I want to tell you thank you. I was rather brutally raped as a virgin when I was 17 and walking home from school. I had a lot of confidence issues and body issues after that that then spiraled into self-hate and other horrible things. I thought I was a monster and messed up for having interest in rough shape and consensual non-consent roleplay given what I had gone through. However your blog, more specifically the reality checks and how open and  honest and “educated” your responses and statements are has been helping me figure myself out more then anything has in the last decade. I know this is far more of a serious tone then your blog really asks for, but I felt I needed to tell you how big of an impact your blog has had to me.

I’m in my first serious relationship in many years and had the courage to explain everything to him and he is so open and accepting of all of me, not just peices. You truly do a public service here thank you.

(and on a lighter note your funner posts are definitely hot and exciting which is what got me here in the first place!)

– Anonymous

VRF Answers:

People like yourself who help others to feel normal and supported are the ones doing the public service.  I can’t overstate how important it is for people to not feel alone in this, and it’s courageous individuals like you telling their stories which makes that possible.  I’m just a platform for getting those stories out to a wider audience, but I’m glad to contribute in any way I have the power to.  I’m glad the blog was helpful to you in your healing, and all the happiness to you in your new relationship! ◾

See more answered asksSend an ask

Asks

Any man who gets off on hurting women is a coward regardless if she gets some twisted enjoyment out of it or not. A woman like that isn’t all there to begin with. A real man doesn’t hit a woman period no exceptions. I know you’re warped little brain can’t comprehend that but you’re a pathetic excuse for man for taking advantage of mentally ill women and using it to your own sick and twisted advantage. Drop dead you piece of shit.

– Anonymous

VRF Answers:

“A woman like that isn’t all there to begin with” – holy sinister undercurrent of casual misogyny, Batman.  The implicit chauvinism here is just seething.

Just to be clear, there is a dividing line, at least between what is considered diagnostically relevant.  Paraphrasing Sexual Masochism Disorder in DSM-V, Psychology Today explains:

To be diagnosed with sexual masochism disorder, a person must experience recurrent and intense sexual arousal from being beaten, humiliated, bound, or experience some other form of suffering. These types of urges, fantasies, or behaviors must be present for at least six months and cause clinically significant troubles or difficulty in social, occupational, or other important areas in life. 

Psychology Today (emphasis mine)

There’s a lot of discussion around paraphilias and whether (or under what circumstances) they constitute some kind of disorder.  Side note: the DSM is also constantly under criticism for its definitions, inclusions, and exclusions, and should not be accepted out of hand as gospel and should be considered a product of sociocultural as well as political and economic context.

All that to say: “all masochists are mentally ill” is a harmful and inaccurate statement, and when you gender that statement, it becomes something vile and hateful. ◾

See more answered asksSend an ask

Asks

Your post about rape fantasy guilt was so well written and researched, it made me feel soooo much better about my fantasies. I was actually just feeling bad about it tonight then I saw your post. Thank you!! 🙂

– Anonymous

VRF Answers:

Thank you for the compliment, and I’m really glad to hear that it helped you resolve some of your guilt over rape fantasies.

For those who may have missed the post: Guilt and Rape Fantasies

See more answered asksSend an ask

Asks

Do you like when a girl struggles and fights you when you rape her? Does it make the game more exciting for you when she acts like shes terrified and in pain? My husband told me he wants to role play his rape fantasy with me and i want it to be amazing for him but im not sure how far i should take it. i don’t want to ask a million questions and ruin the spontaneity of it. i have always wanted to be raped it gets me so wet and turned on. i love this idea and i am so excited for it

– Anonymous

VRF Answers:

I personally like it, yes.  There’s something so primal about overpowering and subduing someone who is resisting and combative.  But there are many ways to go about rape play, and not all are physically coercive – emotional manipulation, psychological abuse, exploitation of power, and blackmail, for example, can all be used in scenes.

I understand why you would be hesitant to talk about it beforehand and why you feel it takes away from rape play, but I like establishing common ground first.  It doesn’t mean scripting everything out, but akin to having conversations about kinks and limits before any kind of BDSM activity, I believe that having discussions around rape fantasies leads to better, safer, more fulfilling scenes.  

If you’re unsure how your husband feels about it, you can talk about that too, whether he would like to talk about some of those things beforehand.  He doesn’t have to say how he wants you to act or what he wants you to do, but more about what turns him on (and why!) and what he’s interested in exploring or not interested in trying.  No matter what, I advise you to discuss soft and hard limits, safewords, and aftercare.  You both need to be on the same page with those, and even if you’ve had those discussions in relation to BDSM, you should revisit them in a rape play-specific context.

To me, having discussions and asking questions doesn’t lead to spoiling the experience, they make the experience better.  Spontaneity can still happen, and I would even say that they happen qualitatively better when everyone is on the same page and has a common base of understanding and expectations.  Improv is spontaneous but still has structure and expectations, and usually works better when the players have a good rapport and solid understanding of how the others think and react.

So, it sounds like you want to talk about it but you’re not sure if talking about it beforehand will decrease the “in the moment” experience.  For me, personally, it doesn’t diminish the play at all, but my advice is: if you’re unsure how your partner feels about it, talk about talking about it.  The more you know about what the other person wants to get out of it, what turns them on about it, and why they’re aroused by certain aspects of it, the more you can make it a fulfilling experience for each other. ◾

See more answered asksSend an ask